I’ve worked in the service industry for about 15 years, and it really is curious how people tend to fall into different mannerisms or categories. If you’ve ever worked in a similar job, you know what I’m talking about. Call them stereotypes, observations, or whatever, but everybody in the industry has at least heard something like, “God, that guy was cheap” or to the less tactful, “That asshole stiffed me!”

Asshole Player Comic

Yeah… because we can totally control the cards that come out. Dick.

As we all know, Blackjack players are known for their even temperaments, interesting stories, and logical thinking…. said no one ever. Blackjack players have a reputation among casino dealers, so much so that we have developed our own lingo about different types of players that we run into on a regular basis. We actually have a dealer dictionary that we all have to learn and memorize, and I want to share some excerpts with you today to give readers a glimpse into the world of a Vegas casino dealer.

On a side note before we get into this, if any of these characters sound familiar to you, it’s not too late. I implore you to change your ways, while there’s still time.

WARNING: The following section may contain high levels of saltiness, random ranting/pandering, and varying degrees of angst. You have been warned.

THE HANDBOOK OF DEALING:

SECTION 17: TYPES OF BLACKJACK PLAYERS

“The Flea”:

An unknowing, stubborn, and/or generally clueless individual who is unaware of how to properly bet, play the game, or even knows about the existence of tipping. Prolonged exposure to blackjack fleas may cause Headaches, Nausea, Abdominal Pain, Depression, and an increasing lack of faith in humanity. Contact your pit boss immediately if your pain lasts more than 4 hours.

3 Ways to spot a Flea:

1) Be on the lookout for lame one liners such as, “You look bored,” “You have a face card every time, unbelievable!” and, “When do you go on break?”
2) If your game has an empty rack accompanied by an equally empty toke box.
3) The demanding of a waitress and/or cocktails after a $20 buy-in.

Sample conversations:

1)
FLEA: “Hey, DEALER! Where is the drink lady?!”
DEALER: “Hey, PLAYER! I’m wearing a name tag. And if you give her a minute, she’ll be around.

2)
FLEA: “Be nice to me, I’m a good tipper.”
DEALER: “Prove it.”
FLEA: “Where is the drink lady?”

“The Table Cop”:

A player who is more concerned with telling other people how to play than playing the game themselves. Table Cops live in an alternate dimension where personal responsibility doesn’t exist, and only lose because everybody else isn’t playing basic strategy.

Change the Player!

Personality traits: Quick to anger, chronic whiners, neediness, rudeness, loudness, and various bi-polar tenancies.

Sample conversations:

1)
TABLE COP: “You need to hit that! 2 is a dealer’s ace! Why would you stay on that?”
DEALER: “Actually that’s not correct, they played it right.”
TABLE COP: “I play a lot of blackjack, I know what I’m doing.”
DEALER: “I deal this game for a living, and my professional opinion is that you’re an idiot.”

2)
TABLE COP: “ALL IN!”
DEALER: “I call.”

(Dealer takes Cop’s money)

DEALER: “Sorry buddy, shouldn’t have limped.”
TABLE COP: “Where is the drink lady?”

“The George”:

Named after King George, the one in one hundred player that actually GETS IT. A generous tipper when they win, and are pleasant to talk regardless of whether or not they are winning or losing.

Synonyms: Godsend. A semi-biblical light in the darkness. A rose among thorns.
(Insert inspirational title here)

Sample conversation:

1)
GEORGE: “No matter how we toss the dice, it had to be…”
DEALER: “The only one for me is you, and you for me…”
BOTH: “So happy togetheeerrrr…”

–  Las Vegas Son